yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
