therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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