I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
