all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
