I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
