I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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