I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
