Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
foreskin is a definite game changer
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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