Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
