Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize