mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
