i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
