I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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