she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Is it because I queefed?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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