Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
