so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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