I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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