He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
