Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
