sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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