Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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