PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
