a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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