Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
