I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
