There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
