Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
