I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
wow bdsm is so cute
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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