the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
