So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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