North Korea, Best Korea!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
