so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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