Yo dont text me then not text me
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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