So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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