We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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