Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
we should paint friendship bongs
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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