Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
