Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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