I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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