I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize