can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My life is pants optional.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
