Buhtt sex?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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