Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
