Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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