My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
