i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
