He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
