so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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