I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
