Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
