Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
