if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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