If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
