in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
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