Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
