ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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