If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
