can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
