so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
