So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
