can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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